My sweet husband decided to throw me a white trash birthday party…
This is what the invitation said…
My old lady is turning 40 and I is throwin her this party. I telled her I was throwin her a 30th party so don’t tell her you know her reel age. It is not a suprise cuz you cant pull anyting over on her. Plus, she luves Walmart.
Were gonna have contests with reel good prizes.We will be providing some kinda slop for chow, but please bring an appeteezer, cassarole or a desert to share.WE is gonna have a prize for the best one in the trailer park.
This here is a trashy party, so you best Bring your own quality beer (Pabst, Old Milwakee, Naty Ice, Miller High Life etc.) You will be turned away at the dorr if you bring any of that impurt crud.
Redneck/White Trash duds- clothing rekwired, for some of you classy folks who threw out yer overalls years ago. For the rest of you…I am sure you can get all gussied up…. probably not too much different then yer usually outfits you’d wear to any ol’ hooten nanny.
Decorate a toilet seat. Bling it up good. We gonna to hang them up and vote on the best one.
If you gonna drank dont drive. You can crash on our flour or bring your trailer and park it out front.
Most important, we don’t have our brats and we dont wanna see yours.
He was going hand write these words and print them out on white lined paper for the best white trash invites ever. Then mail them in the envelopes we have been saving from our bills (we pay online), but he decided to do an Evite instead (much easier and cheaper). So, I am using the paper and envelopes for the thank you notes. Just you wait friends! Ha!
I’m the birthday girl!
I bought this dress at Amvets (I thought it was a dress and found out it is really a nightie) .
Check out my real fox feet earrings (sorry PETA, I bought the feet at an estate sale!).
So, about the decorations…
I wish I could say these were my ideas but Brad was the one that came up with everything (maybe he should have his own blog!). He spent a week getting ready for the party.
Miss spelled spray painted partee (party) sign in the front yard (he even parked the car on the lawn).
Miss spelled bertday (birthday) sign with old pictures of me in the entry way.
Beer can garland and more spray painted sheets hanging in the family room.
You know you are redneck when you don’t have to take any internet photos and make then your own we already had enough white trash family photos to put up!
Oh, and Kenny Rogers!
We used a blow up kiddie pool for the drinks and these beautiful paper flower centerpieces.
I poured soup cans 3/4 full of quikrete, then I poured soy wax on top of that (didn’t want to fill the whole can up with wax because they didn’t need to burn for months) to make candles for the tables.
For party favors we made White Trash Boob Job kits and Trailer Trash Love Gloves which were balloons!
This is what the packages said.
Brad worked really hard on his beer bottle lights. He took Christmas lights and inserted them into the bottles then used black electrical tape to secure them. Now, doesn’t he look hot?
I especially like the wind chimes he made.
Here is a list of the decorations:
- Miss spelled birthday signs on cardboard
- Spray painted miss spelled sheet signs hanging from the trees in the front yard
- Cars parked on the lawn
- American flags down the driveway
- Beer can wind chimes
- Foil and sheets hanging from the windows inside the house
- Beer can garland
- Beer bottle lights
- Kiddie pool full of ice and drinks
- Decorated toilet seats hanging on the fence
- Fire ring out back
- Soup can candles
- Love glove balloons and Boob Job Kits Balloons party favors
- butcher paper for table cloths
- Paper flower centerpieces from the dollar store
My Redneck Family…
I think we are a pretty fun family. Everyone got really into it (especially my in laws and my mom!) and their outfits were hysterical.
Do you think this would make a good Christmas card?
Now, let’s talk about the cake…
I have to say I was very impressed with the cake. It was a trailer with all the amenities.
It had an antenna on the top, above ground pool, monster trucks in the front yard, clothing line with clothes on it, couch (made of rice crispies) on the porch, aluminum roof, town trucks and cars in the front yard. And, let’s not forget the hot girl (supposed to be me). We never did eat it, it was just to good to look at!
And the food…
Since it was pot luck, we asked that everyone bring a dish to share. We gave a prize for the best food.
We had everything: Twinkies, pigs in a blanket, onion dip, cheez wiz on crackers and even chicken nuggets. We made sloppy Joes and mac n cheese with hot dogs.
Joe and Shelly took first place with their ‘Kitty Litter Cake’. Click here for the recipe.
Marci took second place with her Twinkie and Ding Dong cake on a toilet seat.
The prizes for the best food:
- 1st prize was a George Forman grill (from the thrift store) and that went to Shelly for the kitty litter cake.
- 2nd prize was a slicer (from the thrift store) and that went to Marci for the Twinkie cake on the toilet seat
- 3rd and 4th prizes were Larry the Cable Guy Beer Bread and Chicken Batter and that went to Brooke for her Bologna Pate’ and Shelby for her cornbread and hot dog muffins.
- I think Shurie should get an honorable mention for the Micky D’s chicken nuggets. She really went all out!
Check out our guests…
Since this was a fancy party, our guests came in their best attire! Brad made a mug shot back drop and we had a friend (Ed Rodden photography) take mug shots of all the guests. Here are a few…
And we played some games…
Brad went all out for this. He shopped hard for the prizes. He made sure they were worth winning!
- Toilet seat decorating contest- 1st place received Red Neck wind chimes.
- Spam carving- 1st place received an autographed Daisy Duke photo
- Ping Pong Ball spitting contest- 1st place received a pet grooming kit (Pedi Paws trimmer and nail scissors with file)
- Turkey bowling- 1st place received a Snuggie
- Best Dressed Man- 1st place received a $15.69 Walmart gift card.
- Best Dressed Woman- 1st place received a $15.69 Walmart gift card.
- Best Mullet- 1st place received a Mini Mullet Party pack from Blue Q (Body Wash/Car Wash, Mullet Wash, Air Freshener)
- Best Pregnant lady- 1st place received a ‘Mother Like No Other’ Candle set.
Decorated Toilet Seats
Scott won first place with his remote control toilet seat.
We had fun posing in front of the toilet seats!
Spam Carving Contest
Works of art.
Scott was our winner again. He really cleaned up that night. He went home with the autographed Daisy duke photo.
Ping Pong Spitting Contest
These people are serious about their ping pong spitting rules. They made sure the beer can line was straight. If you stepped over the line you were disqualified.
So, we had a left over turkey we didn’t cook last Thanksgiving (how convenient, and I say I am not a hoarder!) and it was just what we needed for the Turkey Bowling. We have a long driveway and it was perfect for this. The guys set up beer cans at the bottom of our driveway and everyone got a turn. The poor turkey was a done deal when it was over!
People were so generous and so funny! I ended up with a ton of Walmart gift cards (you know I can buy something fancy with those!), flowers, white trash date night pack, mullet headband, moonshine and a beer bottle bong (the boys had fun with that one).
My gift basket had all kinds of fun things for a white trash date. Zip ties, Vodka in Propel bottles, whip cream, cherries, a plastic window curtain (?), Spam, vegetable oil (?), a jump rope and a few other fun things.
Best Party EVER!
So, you know you had a good party when your friends call the next day and tell you they hurt from laughing so hard. We laughed all night long and I am still laughing about it. People didn’t start leaving until after midnight (we started at 5pm) and I had to kick the rest of the guests out of the spa at 2:30am!
Another day in my life.