I sometimes feel like I need to just spill whatever is on my mind. I am not sure you want to hear about it, but since my blog is titled “Another Day in My Life” I’m just going to put out there. I guess this is kind of like a dear diary (now don’t you feel privileged you get to read my diary or does it creep you out? heh heh). Maybe the only person who reads this is my mom and in that case I doubt you are finding out anything new about me (or maybe you are). It has been kind of nice when friends have called to tell me they have read this and they think I am funny, or they say things like, “I never knew that about you before”. Dude wants me to start video blogging (vlogging) so you can actually hear and see me tell my stories. I am still trying to learn how to work my camcorder (I want to inspire you, not make you sick) but as soon as I do, I will be sure to make an awesome video for you. Until then here is what happened last night.
The National Multiple Sclerosis Society called me last night. They want me to send out some letters to some friends asking for support. I am the busiest person on the planet and I almost told them no but I changed my mind and told the guy to mail me the letters. I don’t know if I will hand them out, I probably will to a few close friends. The phone call made me think. It made me sad for all the people suffering with this disease that is yet to be cured. Then I remembered, Oh duh, I have it too (it is amazing how I forget sometimes).I really would love it if they could find a cure for MS, but is that really possible?
I am not shy about talking about having MS but I don’t talk about it for sympathy. It is a part of my life. It is always there even if I don’t want it to be. I try not to think about it (not always a good thing). If I tell myself I feel good, then I do. No one feels good all the time right (I am sure there are people out there who feel a lot worse than I do every day)? It is always at night when I have to give myself my daily medication that I remember how much having MS really sucks! I just hope that by me talking about it, people might understand it more.
Since I was diagnosed in 2007 I have given myself over 1900 injections. The meds for MS are only injectable and I really hate that part. I don’t mind the needles (they don’t faze me anymore), I can give myself my shot with my eyes closed. It is what happens after the injections. The medication breaks down my tissue and causes these lumps under my skin (big lumps and they are sore for a few days). After so many injections (I try to rotate the injections sites but there are only so many places I can shoot up) my body is turning into a lumpy mess and it has only been 6 years. I hate to think of how lumpy I am going to be in 6 more years (yuck). Most women my age are worrying about cellulite on their thighs and let me tell you honey, cellulite ain’t got nothing on these lumps on my thighs (in my head I keep hearing Fergie singing… my humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps, check it out). I am a pretty strong, secure woman but I have to tell you I am starting to get a complex about this (it is a good thing my husband thinks I am hot).
I could switch medications but the other ones I have tried give me flu-like symptoms. The meds I take give me the flu symptoms about every 6 months (this is so weird and doesn’t happen to everyone, lucky me) and then my body readjusts and I am fine. I am trading the flu for lumps. I am not sure if that is the best trade-off. They are supposedly coming out with an oral medication but I have read up on some of it and the side effects are not fun and I don’t feel like dying anytime soon so I am going to wait until they have tried it on enough willing participants to feel like it is safe (no guinea pig here, sorry).
So, I keep injecting. The meds are supposed to slow the progression of MS. I really hope it is working. The stories that freak me out are of the people who have MS and are fine one day and the next day they just can’t walk. How crazy is that? Or, they wake up and they can’t see (I did have that happen and it was really scary). Besides taking my medication there is really nothing I can do to stop it Oh ya, diet and exercise helps), so I try not to think about that part of it. I thank the Lord every day for all he has blessed me with. I pray that I can handle whatever life throws at me and that I can be good example to my kids. And hey, if it gets down to it, I will just bling out my cane, or my eye patch and head out to little league, or dance class or where ever.
Another day in my life.